Games are a dopamine-fest where it’s a lot of micro-wins adding up to a big victory. But when you’re a kid, trying too hard to win can actually make things not fun.
I've got three kids that all love games and are spaced out by a couple years or more, so we've had to have talks about being a gracious winner and how to keep things fun when there's a big skill gap. As recently as last week we had to explain to our 8yo that he doesn't have anything to prove by beating his 6yo brother every single time in Bopl Battle.
This article really hit home for me as I was that overly competitive kid. My mom still tells a story where she took me aside after one of these friendship ruining games where I gloated over my friends after winning and she told me that it’s important when playing games to be a gracious winner so that people will want to play with you again. I didn’t exactly internalize this lesson, and next time I played with my friends and won I proclaimed, “I’m the gracious winner, and you’re the gracious loser!” 😅
I realize as I read this back that I forgot to note the "I'm the gracious winner..." bit was said in a sing-songy mocking tone the whole time as well. Classic.
This is one of our big challenges as a family. My kid is a terrible loser. Either the other players are all cheating and hacking or he is the worst player in existence. This extends to board games, card games, party games and physical races but the most regular occasion for this is video games like Fortnite. The worst thing is, he seems to have inherited it from me and my family. We are all bad losers. My childhood is peppered with memories of me and my dad falling out over a board game so badly that my mum (not even participating) would take to her bed in a bad mood. Even as an adult, that one Christmas where we played poker and my brother and I were barely speaking the next day. Or a couple of years ago when me and my kid created a 'fun' quiz for the family only for me to storm off in a bad mood because my dad criticised the fairness of the questions. Or when my family members want the rules explained but nobody is listening... Honestly, if there's one thing I would rather I hadn't passed on it is this!
I've got three kids that all love games and are spaced out by a couple years or more, so we've had to have talks about being a gracious winner and how to keep things fun when there's a big skill gap. As recently as last week we had to explain to our 8yo that he doesn't have anything to prove by beating his 6yo brother every single time in Bopl Battle.
This article really hit home for me as I was that overly competitive kid. My mom still tells a story where she took me aside after one of these friendship ruining games where I gloated over my friends after winning and she told me that it’s important when playing games to be a gracious winner so that people will want to play with you again. I didn’t exactly internalize this lesson, and next time I played with my friends and won I proclaimed, “I’m the gracious winner, and you’re the gracious loser!” 😅
Lol. LMAO, even.
I realize as I read this back that I forgot to note the "I'm the gracious winner..." bit was said in a sing-songy mocking tone the whole time as well. Classic.
This is one of our big challenges as a family. My kid is a terrible loser. Either the other players are all cheating and hacking or he is the worst player in existence. This extends to board games, card games, party games and physical races but the most regular occasion for this is video games like Fortnite. The worst thing is, he seems to have inherited it from me and my family. We are all bad losers. My childhood is peppered with memories of me and my dad falling out over a board game so badly that my mum (not even participating) would take to her bed in a bad mood. Even as an adult, that one Christmas where we played poker and my brother and I were barely speaking the next day. Or a couple of years ago when me and my kid created a 'fun' quiz for the family only for me to storm off in a bad mood because my dad criticised the fairness of the questions. Or when my family members want the rules explained but nobody is listening... Honestly, if there's one thing I would rather I hadn't passed on it is this!