As a Christian gaming dad who writes, creates art, and shares reflections through YouTube and Substack, this really resonates with me because it highlights something I’ve felt for years: games don’t just entertain us—they quietly archive our lives, often more vividly than we expect. I can relate to how a single save file, soundtrack, or late-night play session becomes tied to grief, growth, or even spiritual seasons of life in ways that feel more honest than a timeline ever could. At the same time, I understand the shift you describe when life responsibilities deepen—especially caregiving or fatherhood—where games stop being a lens for meaning and start feeling like they can’t quite carry the weight anymore. In my own walk, I’ve had to learn that gaming can be both a gift and a limitation: it can help me process emotion and tell stories, but it can’t replace the presence, patience, and endurance required in real-world callings like family, marriage, or caring for others. As a follower of Christ, I also feel that tension even more, because the call isn’t just to escape or interpret life, but to embody love and responsibility in it—even when the controller is set down.
Thanks for writing this, very moving. Was taken a little aback at the start as 'apple cider' is usually a very strong alcoholic drink in the UK and not something for a 7 year old!
Beautifully written and a touching story. So happy that you found a vehicle for processing everything you were going through and that you were able to reconnect with this hobby and art form with less guilt and shame, something I’ve been seeking since having kids too.
For the AI element, it’s worth bringing up and considering, but I’m less in favour of invalidating any game that uses AI in production even though I’m against it as a practice, 1) because it’s impractical and 2) because there is some kind of critical mass to me, morally speaking, for how important that technology was in the games production and who was the company using it in the first place. For a new company’s first release, where they shot character mocap on phones and used UE5 lighting and other effects with barely any personalization, it’s clear to me that this was a game made by a relatively small team with a relatively small budget trying to cut costs where they judged it would hurt the game the least to balance production, and my read of that makes me figure the use of genAI for stand-in assets (although some were still left in the game at launch!) is not that upsetting to me. Yeah I’d rather they didn’t at all and stuck to their own message, but it’s less egregious than, for example, Larian coming off the success of BG3 being bigger than ever, saying they’re investing in AI for things like concept art after their CEO delivered a speech at the game awards about how the industry doesn’t need to chase trends to make successful games, it just needs to invest in talented people following their passion. That dissonance coming from such a successful company that doesn’t need to be pinching every penny just to get its first game out the door feels like the opposite end of the spectrum, and clarifies for me how I feel about Sandfall.
Kudos to you for mentioning it though, not everyone would. Again, great piece and best of luck to you in your journey
As a Christian gaming dad who writes, creates art, and shares reflections through YouTube and Substack, this really resonates with me because it highlights something I’ve felt for years: games don’t just entertain us—they quietly archive our lives, often more vividly than we expect. I can relate to how a single save file, soundtrack, or late-night play session becomes tied to grief, growth, or even spiritual seasons of life in ways that feel more honest than a timeline ever could. At the same time, I understand the shift you describe when life responsibilities deepen—especially caregiving or fatherhood—where games stop being a lens for meaning and start feeling like they can’t quite carry the weight anymore. In my own walk, I’ve had to learn that gaming can be both a gift and a limitation: it can help me process emotion and tell stories, but it can’t replace the presence, patience, and endurance required in real-world callings like family, marriage, or caring for others. As a follower of Christ, I also feel that tension even more, because the call isn’t just to escape or interpret life, but to embody love and responsibility in it—even when the controller is set down.
Thanks for writing this, very moving. Was taken a little aback at the start as 'apple cider' is usually a very strong alcoholic drink in the UK and not something for a 7 year old!
Beautifully written and a touching story. So happy that you found a vehicle for processing everything you were going through and that you were able to reconnect with this hobby and art form with less guilt and shame, something I’ve been seeking since having kids too.
For the AI element, it’s worth bringing up and considering, but I’m less in favour of invalidating any game that uses AI in production even though I’m against it as a practice, 1) because it’s impractical and 2) because there is some kind of critical mass to me, morally speaking, for how important that technology was in the games production and who was the company using it in the first place. For a new company’s first release, where they shot character mocap on phones and used UE5 lighting and other effects with barely any personalization, it’s clear to me that this was a game made by a relatively small team with a relatively small budget trying to cut costs where they judged it would hurt the game the least to balance production, and my read of that makes me figure the use of genAI for stand-in assets (although some were still left in the game at launch!) is not that upsetting to me. Yeah I’d rather they didn’t at all and stuck to their own message, but it’s less egregious than, for example, Larian coming off the success of BG3 being bigger than ever, saying they’re investing in AI for things like concept art after their CEO delivered a speech at the game awards about how the industry doesn’t need to chase trends to make successful games, it just needs to invest in talented people following their passion. That dissonance coming from such a successful company that doesn’t need to be pinching every penny just to get its first game out the door feels like the opposite end of the spectrum, and clarifies for me how I feel about Sandfall.
Kudos to you for mentioning it though, not everyone would. Again, great piece and best of luck to you in your journey