Beautiful take on gaming as self-care. The Slay the Spire shoutout is perfect becuase deck-builders are basically controlled chaos, which mirrors the parenting experience exactly. Most people dunno that roguelikes with short runs work so well for parents precisley because failure is baked in and expected. Each 20-minute run teaches acceptance in ways that longform RPGs can't.
Thank you for pointing out the acceptance of failure being baked in! Roguelikes are perfect for short gaming sessions indeed. My problem with Slay the Spire now is that I’ve gotten better and the runs take over an hour though. Need to switch it up if I’m pressed for time. :)
I'm literally sitting in my living room with a 6 year old who just threw up before we could leave to go to school; my first feeling was of annoyance at how sluggish he was, but has since shifted to acceptance at the circumstance.
My workday is in-person, and I will be foregoing some pay to stay home, but you are 1000% correct in reminding us parents that we are never in as much control as we think.
I’m so sorry to hear, I hope little bud will feel better asap!
It is a real pain when staying home with a sick child means financial strain, too. And very unfair. But it’s great to have that option, and I’m glad you do, too.
As adults and parents, we get pulled in so many directions. I used to think that people who said they don’t have time for gaming anymore were making excuses and not trying hard enough. Boy was I wrong. Now that I'm a parent I have serious time constraints. I'm constantly juggling work and life. Gaming (and writing) always goes on the back burners because sometimes they just have to, but your piece is the perfect reminder that our hobbies are important too.
Handle your business. Take care of your little/loved ones, but don't forget to play! “Gaming time is sacred time!”
I still believe that one can find the time for whatever it is, as long as it's made a priority among other things that need doing. Being pulled in all directions is right! Hobbies deserve to be prioritized anyway, too, because they're needed—we're humans, and we need play!
I really enjoyed reading this, Katya. Pretty much the whole dang article resonated with me. But the part that specifically grabbed my attention was the mention of being hyper-aware of time passing.
At some point after my son was born, I suddenly found myself calculating in my head how much time it’ll take me to do X task in any given game and consider is the juice is worth the squeeze.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ll plan on gaming for an hour or two if I’m alone in house, then my brain starts reminding me “ya know, you could knock out a few house chores in same amount of time it takes you to hunt for that chalice in (insert RPG here)”.
It’s relentless, isn’t it? That never-ending calculation, that ever-present balancing act of doing X versus Y and the consequences of doing (n)either. Time feels shorter than ever, yet some moments stretch on.
Oh my goodness THIS! Every nap time is a calculation of “should I be useful or selfish?” And if you’re blessed with one of those naps lasting longer than an hour… what then?! 🤣
The choices seem endless then! What I realized in hindsight is that whether you choose to be useful or selfish, it ends up not mattering in the long run, so might as well play games. Thanks for reading, Amy!
Enjoyed this! I can completely relate to the new found dilemma of actively seeking shorter, more immediate gaming experiences as a parent - and fitting them in-between parent duties. Arcade titles have been a godsend in this respect, for me. I'm on leave for the Christmas period from today and already thinking about what to squeeze in between school pick ups.
Beautiful take on gaming as self-care. The Slay the Spire shoutout is perfect becuase deck-builders are basically controlled chaos, which mirrors the parenting experience exactly. Most people dunno that roguelikes with short runs work so well for parents precisley because failure is baked in and expected. Each 20-minute run teaches acceptance in ways that longform RPGs can't.
Never heard it put that way before. I just learned something new. Thank you for that 👍🏾
Thank you for pointing out the acceptance of failure being baked in! Roguelikes are perfect for short gaming sessions indeed. My problem with Slay the Spire now is that I’ve gotten better and the runs take over an hour though. Need to switch it up if I’m pressed for time. :)
I felt a disturbance in the Force... As if a million parents suddenly cried out "Yes! This is my life too!"... And then were silenced...
…and then rushed off to tend to the child(ren)!
Thank you.
I'm literally sitting in my living room with a 6 year old who just threw up before we could leave to go to school; my first feeling was of annoyance at how sluggish he was, but has since shifted to acceptance at the circumstance.
My workday is in-person, and I will be foregoing some pay to stay home, but you are 1000% correct in reminding us parents that we are never in as much control as we think.
I’m so sorry to hear, I hope little bud will feel better asap!
It is a real pain when staying home with a sick child means financial strain, too. And very unfair. But it’s great to have that option, and I’m glad you do, too.
As adults and parents, we get pulled in so many directions. I used to think that people who said they don’t have time for gaming anymore were making excuses and not trying hard enough. Boy was I wrong. Now that I'm a parent I have serious time constraints. I'm constantly juggling work and life. Gaming (and writing) always goes on the back burners because sometimes they just have to, but your piece is the perfect reminder that our hobbies are important too.
Handle your business. Take care of your little/loved ones, but don't forget to play! “Gaming time is sacred time!”
I still believe that one can find the time for whatever it is, as long as it's made a priority among other things that need doing. Being pulled in all directions is right! Hobbies deserve to be prioritized anyway, too, because they're needed—we're humans, and we need play!
I really enjoyed reading this, Katya. Pretty much the whole dang article resonated with me. But the part that specifically grabbed my attention was the mention of being hyper-aware of time passing.
At some point after my son was born, I suddenly found myself calculating in my head how much time it’ll take me to do X task in any given game and consider is the juice is worth the squeeze.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ll plan on gaming for an hour or two if I’m alone in house, then my brain starts reminding me “ya know, you could knock out a few house chores in same amount of time it takes you to hunt for that chalice in (insert RPG here)”.
It’s relentless, isn’t it? That never-ending calculation, that ever-present balancing act of doing X versus Y and the consequences of doing (n)either. Time feels shorter than ever, yet some moments stretch on.
Thank you so much for reading and commiserating!
Oh my goodness THIS! Every nap time is a calculation of “should I be useful or selfish?” And if you’re blessed with one of those naps lasting longer than an hour… what then?! 🤣
The choices seem endless then! What I realized in hindsight is that whether you choose to be useful or selfish, it ends up not mattering in the long run, so might as well play games. Thanks for reading, Amy!
Enjoyed this! I can completely relate to the new found dilemma of actively seeking shorter, more immediate gaming experiences as a parent - and fitting them in-between parent duties. Arcade titles have been a godsend in this respect, for me. I'm on leave for the Christmas period from today and already thinking about what to squeeze in between school pick ups.
Thanks so much for reading! I should consider arcades for shorter gaming sessions, that sounds like an ideal fit!
This so on point and totally relatable - brilliantly written!!
Thank you Stephen, I loved writing it! Rereading it myself from time to time as a reminder to let go.
Yes, indeed. Especially if you play on handhelds in bed.