Excellent read. As the father of a newly-turned teenager, I've now had many of these moments where the father-daughter experience I had envisioned cultivating in my mind did not play out the way I had hoped. It can be a bit heartbreaking to feel like I'm missing out on a bonding moment, but it's also encouraging and rewarding to watch her develop her own interests and ways of approaching gaming and her other interests.
Yeah, that's such a tricky line to walk, right? You share what you love because it's what you know. But we're at that point too where he's developing his own tastes and you want to encourage that. It's funny seeing us in Z-A -- I'm grinding for shinies in single player but I never touch online, he ignores the story and only plays online!
So like, a thing I've learned about babies as a new parent is that apparently they fuss the most with their moms because they let out the most emotion and let themselves feel the most things with the person they feel safest around. For a baby, that's unquestionably their mom. But I kinda wonder if that doesn't continue playing a part of child psychology and one of the reasons you saw the explosive disappointment and tangible frustration is because sharing space with your son made a space for him to actually get those feelings out. Then after taking a break, he felt ready to come back and take on these challenges on his own.
I'm only starting to grapple with the balance of being directly There For my daughter vs giving her space to work things out on her own myself, but I can definitely relate to what you're going through. And I don't think it's possible to ever fully have the answers. But it sounds like you're trying your best, and I don't think you need to worry too much about it. Even if the natural thing for a thoughtful parent to do is step back and ask if maybe we're the problem.
Also sharing video games with my kids is a Goal, and I love reading about how it's happening for your family
This is a great point and I do think it continues well past the baby stage. Ever looked through a window at your happily engaged child in school or childcare, only for them to turn into a grumpy monster who claims to have had a terrible day once they are returned to you? 🫣
Very much enjoyed this. My son is nearly six and was a bit frustrated when he first picked up Minecraft on the switch. And I wasn't much better at the controls myself, having never played! I could do bits for him but not loads. A few weeks later he was absolutely mastering the controls with no input from me! Very proud.
Love this!! My gaming relationship with my 7yo son has had a similar journey to yours. Sometimes what you feel and think doesnt go to plan and the "why?" isnt always apparent. Sometimes its just about being around, on the fringes. Letting them grow. So pleased for you that your son found his way and came to you first to celebrate the success. Those moments stick!!
Excellent read. As the father of a newly-turned teenager, I've now had many of these moments where the father-daughter experience I had envisioned cultivating in my mind did not play out the way I had hoped. It can be a bit heartbreaking to feel like I'm missing out on a bonding moment, but it's also encouraging and rewarding to watch her develop her own interests and ways of approaching gaming and her other interests.
Yeah, that's such a tricky line to walk, right? You share what you love because it's what you know. But we're at that point too where he's developing his own tastes and you want to encourage that. It's funny seeing us in Z-A -- I'm grinding for shinies in single player but I never touch online, he ignores the story and only plays online!
So like, a thing I've learned about babies as a new parent is that apparently they fuss the most with their moms because they let out the most emotion and let themselves feel the most things with the person they feel safest around. For a baby, that's unquestionably their mom. But I kinda wonder if that doesn't continue playing a part of child psychology and one of the reasons you saw the explosive disappointment and tangible frustration is because sharing space with your son made a space for him to actually get those feelings out. Then after taking a break, he felt ready to come back and take on these challenges on his own.
I'm only starting to grapple with the balance of being directly There For my daughter vs giving her space to work things out on her own myself, but I can definitely relate to what you're going through. And I don't think it's possible to ever fully have the answers. But it sounds like you're trying your best, and I don't think you need to worry too much about it. Even if the natural thing for a thoughtful parent to do is step back and ask if maybe we're the problem.
Also sharing video games with my kids is a Goal, and I love reading about how it's happening for your family
That's a really good point, I hadn't thought about it that way, but I think you're right -- it's because he feels safe to vent. Thank you!
This is a great point and I do think it continues well past the baby stage. Ever looked through a window at your happily engaged child in school or childcare, only for them to turn into a grumpy monster who claims to have had a terrible day once they are returned to you? 🫣
Very much enjoyed this. My son is nearly six and was a bit frustrated when he first picked up Minecraft on the switch. And I wasn't much better at the controls myself, having never played! I could do bits for him but not loads. A few weeks later he was absolutely mastering the controls with no input from me! Very proud.
Love this!! My gaming relationship with my 7yo son has had a similar journey to yours. Sometimes what you feel and think doesnt go to plan and the "why?" isnt always apparent. Sometimes its just about being around, on the fringes. Letting them grow. So pleased for you that your son found his way and came to you first to celebrate the success. Those moments stick!!
Thank you!!