I can't say that the thought of my daughter one day being online doesn't fill me with anxiety. There's... A lot on the internet that I'd prefer she steer clear of. To some extent using parental filters helps. But also, I think a lot of technology like this misses some essential. Trust is a two way street, and it's forged through conversations, not unilateral controls
Wow, yikes. Reminds me of the "hero cop" archetype in police recruiting and tacticool gear advertisements that Waypoint talked about a few years ago. Only a hero parent prepared to go to war is suitable to protect their kids from the forces of evil on the internet.
The callus analogy is very apt. I worry that wrapping kids in bubble wrap to protect them from the internet is only going to leave them unprepared for the real threats from scams/right-wing recruiters/etc. Kids should be allowed to "play in the dirt", so to speak, and built up their calluses and their immune system.
My approach to apps/tech/ like this might be simplistic, but I ask myself, "Would I be comfortable if it was done to me? Would I see the utility?" And if the answer is "no", I look for another way to address the problem. Kids need space to make mistakes without being monitored 24/7. I was definitely VERY unsafe with my phone when I got one as a teen, and that was way before mobile internet was a thing. Ultimately, what kept me out of trouble was the conversations I had with my mom about talking to strangers, appropriate behavior, and basic safety principles like not sharing my address when texting with people I don't know. I hope to be able to instill the same in my daughter, without having a keylogger app track her every move.
My problem is that parental oversight like bright canary, beyond assuming that a chokehold is the safest grip, is that it assumes perfection of knowledge and intention on the part of the parents. How many parents really know what they're seeing or talking about when it comes to online culture?
Even disregarding parents with negative intentions, so much of American news and media is based on scaremongering. A parent without the time or resources to do their own productive research could flip out over a child watching a video about something that is totally age appropriate and harmless, and be entirely fine with a video that is harmless looking but promoting negative ideology. Children always find a way to leave the bounds of whats age appropriate eventually, we all looked at adult content at some point, but being heavy handed with the oversight is what makes kids unlikely to talk about actually damaging things they could find and need help with.
We do allow YouTube on our main TV for our kids (age 7 and 9), but they're good about only watching what are our approved channels (mostly Minecraft YT'ers, although some Aphmau videos push up against our personal line). It's also my own personal account that's on there with history enabled, so I can see what they're watching to ensure they follow the rules. Works well enough for us on that front (but my YouTube suggestions are a mess lol).
I am old enough to have experienced a pre-internet era, I was around 14 or 15 when we got a family PC and connected (via dial up!). I was the only computer literate member of the family, so there would have been nothing my parents could have done to look out for me. However, I was raised to be a sensible person and judge my own actions, plus it was a very difficult world at that time.
Now I have 3 children myself, I have to think a lot about internet safety, parental controls, and how much is too much. The idea of parents either supervising their children's online history, or using tech to do it, is absolutely ridiculous. If you are overwhelmed with your own social feed content streams being endless, why not add 3 more onto your plate? I have spent many wasted hours with even basic parental controls via phones, websites and apps, and my children can always somehow find a loophole making the whole exercise futile.
So I do what all these tech companies refuse to believe is a good idea - I talk to my children. I try to step in when I think they have gone too far, then try to let them go in with their lives (whilst worrying in the background). My children trust me to give them some space, but also know I'm there to help if they end up on a corner of the internet they don't want to be. And I just keep reminding them gently that some areas online are not good for them. Simply building up two way trust with your children is better and far more effective than any of this technology I've found.
As someone who hit adulthood at an interesting time for the internet’s dangers (broadband hitting as a teen, iphone hitting the year I went to college) I feel lucky to have that balance of growing up with technology but not being overwhelmed by it — I have no idea how I’d raise a kid with all this stuff (despite thinking of doing so, so very interested!)
I can't say that the thought of my daughter one day being online doesn't fill me with anxiety. There's... A lot on the internet that I'd prefer she steer clear of. To some extent using parental filters helps. But also, I think a lot of technology like this misses some essential. Trust is a two way street, and it's forged through conversations, not unilateral controls
Something*
Wow, yikes. Reminds me of the "hero cop" archetype in police recruiting and tacticool gear advertisements that Waypoint talked about a few years ago. Only a hero parent prepared to go to war is suitable to protect their kids from the forces of evil on the internet.
The callus analogy is very apt. I worry that wrapping kids in bubble wrap to protect them from the internet is only going to leave them unprepared for the real threats from scams/right-wing recruiters/etc. Kids should be allowed to "play in the dirt", so to speak, and built up their calluses and their immune system.
My approach to apps/tech/ like this might be simplistic, but I ask myself, "Would I be comfortable if it was done to me? Would I see the utility?" And if the answer is "no", I look for another way to address the problem. Kids need space to make mistakes without being monitored 24/7. I was definitely VERY unsafe with my phone when I got one as a teen, and that was way before mobile internet was a thing. Ultimately, what kept me out of trouble was the conversations I had with my mom about talking to strangers, appropriate behavior, and basic safety principles like not sharing my address when texting with people I don't know. I hope to be able to instill the same in my daughter, without having a keylogger app track her every move.
My problem is that parental oversight like bright canary, beyond assuming that a chokehold is the safest grip, is that it assumes perfection of knowledge and intention on the part of the parents. How many parents really know what they're seeing or talking about when it comes to online culture?
Even disregarding parents with negative intentions, so much of American news and media is based on scaremongering. A parent without the time or resources to do their own productive research could flip out over a child watching a video about something that is totally age appropriate and harmless, and be entirely fine with a video that is harmless looking but promoting negative ideology. Children always find a way to leave the bounds of whats age appropriate eventually, we all looked at adult content at some point, but being heavy handed with the oversight is what makes kids unlikely to talk about actually damaging things they could find and need help with.
We do allow YouTube on our main TV for our kids (age 7 and 9), but they're good about only watching what are our approved channels (mostly Minecraft YT'ers, although some Aphmau videos push up against our personal line). It's also my own personal account that's on there with history enabled, so I can see what they're watching to ensure they follow the rules. Works well enough for us on that front (but my YouTube suggestions are a mess lol).
I am old enough to have experienced a pre-internet era, I was around 14 or 15 when we got a family PC and connected (via dial up!). I was the only computer literate member of the family, so there would have been nothing my parents could have done to look out for me. However, I was raised to be a sensible person and judge my own actions, plus it was a very difficult world at that time.
Now I have 3 children myself, I have to think a lot about internet safety, parental controls, and how much is too much. The idea of parents either supervising their children's online history, or using tech to do it, is absolutely ridiculous. If you are overwhelmed with your own social feed content streams being endless, why not add 3 more onto your plate? I have spent many wasted hours with even basic parental controls via phones, websites and apps, and my children can always somehow find a loophole making the whole exercise futile.
So I do what all these tech companies refuse to believe is a good idea - I talk to my children. I try to step in when I think they have gone too far, then try to let them go in with their lives (whilst worrying in the background). My children trust me to give them some space, but also know I'm there to help if they end up on a corner of the internet they don't want to be. And I just keep reminding them gently that some areas online are not good for them. Simply building up two way trust with your children is better and far more effective than any of this technology I've found.
As someone who hit adulthood at an interesting time for the internet’s dangers (broadband hitting as a teen, iphone hitting the year I went to college) I feel lucky to have that balance of growing up with technology but not being overwhelmed by it — I have no idea how I’d raise a kid with all this stuff (despite thinking of doing so, so very interested!)