Crossplay Mailbag: Swearing in Video Games Is Extremely Cool, Actually
This week, we chat about handling swearing in video games, dealing with new parents who have a hard time nailing down a time to play games, and more.
Welcome back to another Crossplay mailbag!
Next week, we’re going to talk about PAW Patrol. The big PAW Patrol open world video game is coming out soon, my youngest went through a PAW Patrol phase that we’re nearly past, and I think every parent is forced to confront this monstrosity of a franchise at one point or another. It’s complicated, and I want to hear from parents who struggle with properties aimed at children they have trouble signing off on.
People declare PAW Patrol to be copaganda for a reason, so let’s chat about it.
In the meantime, if you’ve got a question, send it to mailbag@crossplay.news.
What's your policy on your kids hearing bad language in games?
Patrick: We don’t have a policy!
A big reason we chose our pediatrician was because he swore in front of us while pitching us on why his office was a good choice. Swearing is normal, and I wanted a pediatrician who would give us normal advice. I later asked him how he handled swearing with his children, and he outlined two paths of advice that still hold up:
Stop swearing in front of your children, because when you slip up and make a big deal about it, they’re suddenly going to be very interested in this secret word
Swear away, at which point kids won’t be discern the difference until they’re old enough to actually understand swear words are different than other words
We have a swear jar in the house, but it’s for my oldest to collect a dollar every time my wife or I swear. It’s funny, and prompts conversations. For a long time, my oldest was so cautious about words like stupid and dumb, aka words that are inappropriate but regularly used by young kids who don’t know better. Her caution became a personalized thought police, to the point that one time, she asked what to do about a song that was stuck in her head, because the lyrics contained a “bad” word like stupid.
I told her those words, like swear words, are hurtful when they’re aimed at someone. (Obviously, language is more complicated than that, but she was…like, five at the time? Baby steps, baby steps.) Anyway, our policy on swearing in games extends outwards from this general approach. It’s why I stopped playing Final Fantasy XVI in front of my oldest, because she kept hearing “fuck” and saying I owed a dollar.
If a stray swear word comes down the pike in a piece of media, we acknowledge it and move on. If it becomes a rapidfire assault, now it’s a distraction and we turn it off.
My question is very simple: what games do your kids play that aren’t what most people think if as “kid games” (Roblox, Fortnite, etc)? My six year old just got into Hi-Fi Rush and has made real progress all on his own (after some directional guidance). He also really likes Untitled Goose Game (we play that together), Kirby and the Forgotten Land, Wilmont’s Warehouse, and Unpacking. He mostly messes around in some of these, but his taste feels quite varied (I get that I’m the one he sees playing these, so he wants to try them too). He also wants to build mechs for me in Armored Core VI and asks me to use them in arena battles.
Patrick: Damn, that’s impressive! Truth be told, video games have not been a priority for my oldest kid lately. I’ve been meaning to write a story about what it’s like to have your in-house video game reviewer constantly fail to be interested in reviewing video games, but alas, the interests of children are fickle. Unpacking was a huge hit with my oldest for a while there, primarily because it did not have a skill arc for her to overcome. She likes organizing little objects virtually and physically, so the opportunity to shift things around was such a delight for her. She didn’t finish the game, but that made all the sense in the world—the narrative meant nothing.
There was also a time where several of the neighborhood kids would invade our house while I was playing the underrated Guardians of the Galaxy video game from a few years back. Though my children haven’t watched a Marvel film yet (and that whole cinematic saga may no longer be relevant when they’re old enough to actually care!), the video game looked like a movie, so they all grabbed pillows and blankets and complained when I would fail a combat sequence. I think they even convinced my wife to give them all bowls of popcorn, really cementing the whole experience.
Hi Patrick,
Not a parent myself, but two of my best friends just had their first child together about a month ago. Keeping in touch has never been either of their strong suits, so our friend group has historically kept up with them via a once-a-week online gaming session. Understandably, the new baby made that a tough commitment to keep, so we had to put it on hold. I was wondering if you had any recommendations for games that might fit a bit better into a new parent’s schedule? I know that right now they’ll mainly need some time / space to figure out what their new normal looks like, but I was hoping to have some ideas in my pocket for when they’re ready. Obviously it wouldn’t be the same as getting to jump on voice chat, but I’ve been thinking about the way asynchronous games like Words with Friends let you feel like you still had this little connection with somebody, even if it was just sending Scrabble moves back and forth while you were waiting for the L.
Best,
Hannah
Patrick: Great question. OK, so maybe this doesn’t work for every new set of parents, but something that happens when you have a kid is that people invite you do things, you turn them down because your life is a mess, and then…they stop inviting you to because they feel bad you can’t come. One friend, not long after my oldest was born, kept inviting us to events, even knowing I would turn them down. I told them how much it meant that they kept thinking of us, because it helped our lives feel normal.
So that’s one thing to consider: keep asking if they’re interested! Parenting seems like it shouldn’t be lonely because you have a kid(s) around, but it’s exceedingly lonely.
Words With Friends is good, because it removes the need for a schedule. We call these “asynchronous” games, and here’s some ideas that came up while I looked around:
Please drop your own ideas in the comments, Crossplay readers!
Also:
My oldest keeps asking if I’m getting Super Mario Wonder early, and I do not have the heart to tell them that Nintendo does not send me early games anymore lol
These iMessage games seem kinda cool, but I’ve never tried any of them before.
I’m very tickled that the top image of this story says “fuck off.” That is all.
Our first child is due in November, I've got to keep some of these games in mind!
The timing of this is extremely funny because my son just started playing Forespoken, and the first thing he told me about it is “boy they sure do like saying ‘fuck’ a lot for no reason in this game.”